"Rejoice Dear Hearts" Read online

  By my estimation, a “low information voter” is infinitely worse than a “no information voter” — the latter representing simple ignorance while the former illustrates a simple mind.

  Rhetorical venom seeps into some, yet poisons all.

  Chapter Fourteen – “Blurred Lines”

  Megan Richardson was so mad she could spit.

  The source of her anger was Scott Sloan and his unabashed enthusiasm for “naked young girls.”

  Scott is the midday host on 50,000-watt powerhouse WLW — throughout the years Cincinnati’s most listened-to radio station.

  I was in Cincinnati last weekend for our grandson, William’s, High School graduation.

  William, an Eagle Scout, is headed for Ohio University in the fall where he has entered an ROTC program in preparation for extended military service following college. When he rose with other similarly pledged classmates during formal commencement ceremonies to indicate his commitment, I was filled with pride. It wasn’t that long ago I carried him on my shoulders as he laughed and pulled my hair.

  Joining daughter Colleen and son-in-law Lindsey Pyron (William’s Mom & Dad) — with us in Cincinnati for William’s happy occasion were our three other daughters — Laurie from Nashville, Candace of Detroit and Susan from right here in Oakhurst — all of the preceding accompanied by their own families. It was the first time in six years all of us were together. Eleven grandchildren aside, I was the only non-Republican in the bunch. Spirited political discussion is never excluded from our conversations, but we truly love each other. The joy of reunion always takes unchallenged precedence over all else whenever and wherever we meet.

  WLW is owned by Clear Channel, a media giant offering extraordinary conservative programming, including syndication rights to Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Mark Levin and others of that ilk. In fact, WLW’s primary coverage area, a combination of Southern Ohio, Eastern Indiana and Northern Kentucky counties, is about as conservative an area as you’d ever hope to find this side of Ho Chi Minh City. That’s why Scott Sloan’s live interview with Megan Richardson of the “International Womens’ Council” struck me as hugely entertaining and spectacularly unique. It also illustrated a particularly pertinent point. Against every principled position — an opposite usually exists. For genuinely sharp focus on any subject, we are decidedly dulled without debate. In the search for truth, black and white sometime join and merge to gray. Clarity often waits only behind blurred lines.

  And it was “Blurred Lines” that was driving Megan Richardson nuttier than a pound of pecans on Scott Sloan’s WLW show.

  “Blurred Lines”is an R&B/Hip-Hop smash here and overseas. Robin Thicke (Alan’s kid) is the recording artist, accompanied by American rapper T.I. and singer/producer Pharrell. It is #1 in Australia, Canada, New Zealand, Ireland and the Netherlands and listed among the Top Ten in Belgium, Denmark, France, Portugal, Switzerland and here in The States. But in Megan’s view it’s not the song that’s wrong — it’s that “disgusting video.”

  In the visual presentation we see Thicke, T.I. and Pharrell casually standing around appearing almost oblivious to topless models Emily Ratajkowski, Jessi M’Bengue and Ell Evans prancing about in wild, provocative frolic — almost ignored by the targets of their seduction. You almost get the impression the guys would rather be at a ballpark. Since the topless part of the piece and certain suspect gestures violate YouTube’s terms of service, they keep taking it down, then someone puts it back up. Make no mistake. This is for mature viewers only. Ask your teen.

  Richardson’s talking points were the usual “we’re all going to hell in a hand basket” rap, mixed with outrage at Sloan’s insistence that she’s completely missing the fact that “Blurred Lines” graphically presents an excellent “learning opportunity” to teach his own daughter about reactionary rhetoric, exploitive sex and media manipulation. While I initially suspected Scott was brilliantly baiting Megan, I eventually came to conclude he was honestly being truthful in his general assessment and summary dismissal of Ms. Richardson’s novice naiveté.

  My own perspective is that both the song and video are pretty cool, though admittedly hotter than your average bare.

  The “Blurred Lines” video was produced and directed by Diane Martel.

  Watching kids go hungry is obscene.

  As is ignorance, intolerance, stupidity and war.

  Not bouncy breasts.

  Hey! Hey! Hey!

  VIDEO — https://m.vevo.com/watch/robin-thicke/blurred-lines-unrated-version/USUV71300526?playonmobile=true

  Scott Sloan WLW Interview —

  Download: 130530_3_SLOAN_1369929784_4992.mp3


  Chapter Fifteen – “Uncle Elmer Rides Again!”

  My little brother and I sat quieter than mice on cotton.

  Several times each year, my widowed mother would book us on New York Central’s mighty “Empire State Express” from Syracuse through the Mohawk Valley to Albany, where we would spend a few days visiting my grandfather, William’s, three aging sisters in their expansive second floor flat on Grandview Terrace overlooking the Hudson River.

  There was Aunt Bumps and Aunt Ellie, married to their respective husbands for over fifty years, and Aunt Belle, who hadn’t been married for even fifty minutes to anyone at all. Belle, my feisty eighty-two year-old favorite, had been engaged to a handsome young Irish policeman named Steve when he dropped dead of a heart attack in the middle of Albany’s 1897 St. Patrick’s Day Parade. At least once a month after Sunday church, Aunt Belle would take a trolley car to Saint Agnes Cemetery with a picnic lunch to bring Steve up to date. She never took another lover.

  Aunt Bumps was married to Uncle Jack, while Aunt Ellie’s husband was my Uncle Elmer, a taciturn, solemn Baptist who never spoke a word he could avoid, but always furtively slipped me a quarter for ice cream — quite a score back then.

  The five octogenarians had moved in together during The Great Depression and never found reason to drift apart. The secret of their remarkably amiable coexistence was faithful adherence to certain points of protocol established over time to insure group tranquility while honoring specific individual priorities.

  Uncle Elmer’s supreme moment of unchallenged control occurred three times weekly at 7:30 PM when everyone would take his or her place in a favorite living room spot, all household lighting would be extinguished without exception and thirty minutes of unbroken family silence would begin as the opening strains of Rossini’s “William Tell Overture” filled the air and the sonorous voice of announcer Fred Foy solemnly intoned, ” Return with us now to those thrilling days of yesteryear! From out of the past come the thundering hoof beats of the great horse Silver! The Lone Ranger rides again!

  It was a holy moment. Elmer would take a mighty hit from his ancient briar pipe and rock deeply back with eyes tightly closed – lost in supreme contentment.

  With tens of millions listening over the ABC Radio Network, “The Lone Ranger” was broadcast live from the studios of Detroit’s WXYZ, 1270 on your AM dial starting on January 31, 1933. Partners George W. Trendle and H. Allen Campbell owned the program, as well as “The Green Hornet” and “Sergeant Preston of the Yukon” which also originated in the Motor City.

  Trendle was notoriously cheap, choosing to use “The William Tell Overture” and other classical pieces as background music in his productions since they weren’t subject to copyright payments.

  Fran Striker, who wrote virtually all of the “Lone Ranger” scripts, received nothing other than a minimal salary for his efforts through the years and was once briefly fired when he asked Trendle for a three dollar per episode raise.

  As radio historian Jack French noted in his 1999 essay on Trendle entitled, “The Miser of Motown”, “The strength and popularity of WXYZ and its syndicated network programming became a gold mine for Trendle and his banker cronies. But the talented cast, crew and production staffs of these shows always got short-changed. Many of the high-handed practices Trendle perfected would no
t have been successful in any era other than The Depression, where any job was eagerly sought by desperate Americans.”

  Perhaps that’s why Striker, in formally composing a list of essential Lone Ranger characteristics for writing assistants, included these exact words: “The Lone Ranger believes that men should live by the rule of what is best for the greatest number.”

  Trendle and Campbell eventually used part of their “Lone Ranger Money” to put a new radio station on the air a few miles north of Detroit in Flint, using their “Trendle and Campbell” initials for the call letters of W-T-A-C. I joined WTAC in 1964 as a local DJ and ran into many of the “WXYZ old-timers” during my Michigan years, including “The Lone Ranger” himself, Brace Beemer. That role came to be played by Clayton Moore in the subsequent TV series and is now inherited by Armie Hammer in the new movie opening next Wednesday, July 3rd, at the Met Cinemas.

  With Johnny Depp as Tonto, this new “Lone Ranger” promises to be THE summer movie of 2013 and, judging from the trailer, looks like another Disney masterpiece. I’ll be there for the first showing, saving an empty seat right next to me.

  For Uncle Elmer.

  “Hi-Yo, Silver! And away!”

  Chapter Sixteen – “Delta Yawn”

  On Saturday, May 25th, I encountered an extraordinary turn of events at Yosemite International Airport in Fresno when attempting to initiate a flight to Cincinnati via Delta Airlines. Now, a full month having past as of today, the 25th of June, I have decided to share my correspondence with the corporation.

  So far, the only respondent seems to be a computer named Michelle.

  Peter Cavanaugh
6/25/13

  May 30, 2013

  By Mail

  Richard H. Anderson


  Chief Executive Officer


  Delta Airlines


  1030 Delta Boulevard


  P.O. Box 20706


  Atlanta, Georgia 30320-6001

  Dear Mister Anderson,

  With appropriate apology for the tardiness of this correspondence due to a heavy schedule these last few days, I feel it important to bring to your direct attention an absolute horror encountered last Saturday, May 25, when attempting to fly from Yosemite International Airport via Delta.

  Booked on a 6:25 AM Delta flight (Delta # 4624) to Salt Lake City with a connecting link to Cincinnati, it was 5:05 AM when my wife and I arrived at the terminal. At 5:35 AM, after having had our luggage checked and tagged at the Delta counter, we proceeded to a long TSA security line

  When we finally reached our designated gate at 6:10 AM, we were puzzled to discover no one on duty at the Delta stand and shared our concern with several other passengers similarly chagrined. Adding to an ever increasing level of discomfort was watching our luggage through the terminal window being casually loaded on what had to be “our plane” outside.

  Then was 6:15 AM with no one available with whom to address our mounting concerns.

  At approximately 6:20, a gentleman who eventually identified himself as a Delta Supervisor named Ray Martinez appeared on the scene and declared we all had “missed the flight.”

  Without elaborating on the ensuing drama, including Mr. Martinez’ threat to summon police when my own expressing of outrage reached admittedly heated proportions as we watched “our plane” still parked only feet away with pilots and crew completely ignoring frantic hand waves and other supplicant signals from thus abandoned would be passengers (ALL SIX OF US!) — suffice it to say that our degree of infuriation reached epic proportion when Mr. Martinez finally sheepishly admitted he had boarded a number of “standbys” and there we simply no seats for us on the Salt Lake City Flight.

  I now stress in this communication to you that AT NO POINT THAT MORNING WAS ANY ANNOUNCEMENT MADE OF THE SALT LAKE CITY FLIGHT BEING PRE-BOARDED OR BOARDED OR ANY “LAST CALL” ANNOUNCEMENT GIVEN.

  Reflecting upon the fact that Martinez repeatedly and insolently lied to our faces about this last factor cannot help but give rise to a strong suspicion that he may well have been illicitly enriched by those he allowed to fly in our place.

  Admitting to “Agent Error” after well over an hour of effort, all who would have been aboard having also missing connecting Eastbound links in Salt Lake City, my wife and I were finally rerouted to Cincinnati through LAX, adding four hours to an already long travel day. Several others were less fortunate, plans undone and a Holiday Weekend destroyed.

  I obtained the names of two fellow victims who are herein copied and would be, I suggest, available for confirmation of all of the above and, as well, some appropriate compensatory gesture on the part of Delta for the severe inconvenience so miserably encountered.

  Sincerely,

  Peter Cavanaugh


  June 14, 2013

  Dear Mr. Cavanaugh,

  
RE: Case Number 9102172

  Thank you for sharing your concerns with Mr. Richard Anderson, our Chief Executive Officer. He has asked that I respond on his behalf.

  We were truly sorry to learn that when you and your wife arrived at the gate, it had already been dispatched. I regret that after your arrival and baggage check, you encountered lines at the security check point and arrived late to the gate. We can certainly understand your disappointment with our check-in guidelines which requires passengers be at the departure gate at least 15 minutes prior to schedule departure time. At this time, all passengers are boarding and the flight dispatched.

  I realize it was upsetting to arrive at 6:10 and find the gate unattended and the door shut. Please allow me to clarify that it is the responsibility of each passenger to arrive at the airport with sufficient time to complete all ticketing, baggage check, security clearance procedures, and arrive at the gate ready to board within our guidelines. If a passenger has not met the guidelines, they risk having their reservation cancelled and may not be able to travel on their confirmed flight.

  Respectfully, this requirement applies to all customers checking in, with or without baggage. It is also important to mention that once all passengers who had arrived at the gate on time are boarded and the wait list has been cleared; the door of the aircraft may be closed. We would release seats of passengers not onboard at the 15 minute mark and clear standby passengers. This was correctly done. After the door is closed and as soon as the Captain has received his takeoff slot, the flight may depart the gate even if it is prior to scheduled departure time.

  Again, I apologize you were not accommodated on your flight due to the missed check in. In the event a flight has departed, our team members should assist passengers in rescheduling their travel on the next available flight. We apologize that you and your wife arrived later than expected. Also, I was dismayed to hear that our agent threatened to contact the authorities due to the heated and stressful situation. After reading your comments, I understand why you wanted to bring this matter to our attention. We expect our team to be helpful and professional at all times.

  Please know I will be sharing your comments with our Airport Customer Service leadership team for internal follow up. For future reference, I encourage you to visit our website at delta.com for the latest information regarding the check-in guidelines for both domestic and international travel.

  Mr. Cavanaugh, while we normally do not offer compensation when a passenger arrives late to the gate, we understand your concerns. Therefore, as a gesture of goodwill, I have issued you and your wife each a Delta Choice gift in the amount of $25.00. Your Delta Choice gifts will arrive under separate cover and will include the gift codes, customer IDs, and instructions on how to redeem the gifts.

  Again, we are very sorry for the flight disruption due to the security delay and the missed gate requirements. Your business is appreciated and we hope to have an opportunity to regain your confidence in our service.

  Sincerely, Michele Schrader Coordinator,

  Corporate Customer Care Delta Air Lines

  June 15, 2013

  Dear Ms. Schrader,

  I find myself sing
ularly bedazzled by the hopelessly gratuitous, woefully inadequate response you have submitted on behalf of Mr. Anderson to the issues outlined in my May 30th complaint concerning Delta service in Fresno at Yosemite International Airport.

  Your correspondence ignores any number of salient points brought to Mr. Anderson’s attention, including the demonstrable fact that others and I were at the appropriate gate “15 minutes before schedule departure time” with no agent in site or “stand by” passengers being processed.

  The undisputed fact that no Pre-Boarding Announcements, Boarding Announcements or “Last Call” Announcements were given in relation to our flight also remains unaddressed.

  The terminal public address system was fully functioning.

  Unmentioned in the May 30th letter to Chairman Anderson was my willingness and that of others to allow a number of passengers seeking to make an earlier Delta flight to Phoenix ahead of me in the T.S.A. security line when their boarding time and “last call” were loudly announced.

  I herein demand satisfactory compensatory rectification for the May 25th incident at Yosemite International Airport and your preposterous note of June 5th, which adds insolent insult to inofficious injury.

  Sincerely,

  Peter Cavanaugh

  June 18, 2013

  Dear Mr. Cavanaugh,

  RE: Case Number 9102172

  Thank you for writing and allowing me the opportunity to further review your concerns. I am sorry you were dissatisfied with our response.

  Again, we are very sorry for the missed flight from Fresno. I can certainly understand your frustration when you arrived at the gate and found the flight had been dispatched. After reading your correspondence again, I understand why you feel I did not adequately address your concerns. I apologize if I overlooked some of your comments based on the reservations data.

  While Flight 4624 operated by our Delta Connection partner, SkyWest, left the gate 10 minutes earlier than scheduled, there seems to be some confusion as to the time the door was closed. I understand from your messages that you arrived within the check in requirements. Further, we apologize if announcements were not heard regarding the flight’s boarding at the terminal or security area. I can certainly understand your frustration when you let passengers ahead of you in line in security and only to arrive and find the agent had already left the gate.